![]() ![]() So now our intrepid orbiting crew find themselves in the uncomfortable position of being (I think) the last folks to fire back, and soon a bunch of their own bombs get auto-dropped on the Reds and now they’re hovering in space above a burned-out cinder. When some Libyan terrorists obtain some nukes of their own that don’t end up going off (or something like that), though, it’s too late as the US has already decided to strike a bunch of Soviet cities (the film is set, according to its opening scroll, “the day after tomorrow,” but today’s “day after tomorrow” ain’t much like yesterday’s given that the Soviet Union no longer exists - I’ll give them points for accurately predicting a future scenario where the US would end up attacking a different country altogether than the one that had supposedly “threatened” it, though) and those dastardly Russkies have emptied their missile silos in return. To be sure, things start out promisingly enough - there’s a slick opening credit sequence, complete with stirring and dramatic theme music that would feel right at home in any Hollywood blockbuster, and from there we go to some sort of NORAD-sanctioned orbiting nuclear arsenal designed to - uhhmmm - protect the world with its payload of heavy-duty atomic warheads, staffed by the timid and homesick Howe (Tim Choate), hard-ass commander Walker (John Walsch), and token female crewmember Jordan (Kate Lynch). #Defcon 4 movie movieIn 1985 though, apparently Canadian filmmaker Paul Donovan (credited in the film as being the sole director although according to the IMDB he had help from a couple others) thought a lot of those old tropes had played themselves out and, together with a couple of screenwriting partners, gave us a decidedly different take on life after the shit hits the fan called DEF-CON 4, a movie that pretty much breaks all the post-nuke rules merely for the sake of doing so (at least I can’t discern any other logic at play here), and ends up being a decidedly mixed bag as a result. After all, every character in every one of these ROAD WARRIOR-inspired stories was tough enough to survive being hit by a nuclear fucking missile! This ain’t no place for wimps. And finally, the overall tone of these flicks should be dripping with hilariously absurd levels of way-over-the-top machismo. The action should take place in an irradiated desert wasteland (okay, the Australian outback will do in a pinch). ![]() There should be at least one super-rare commodity that’s valued above all others that everyone is fighting for (water and/or gasoline being the best and most frequent choices). The women should be sexy, but clearly in possession of enough moxie to get by in the post-nuke wasteland. The villains should be barbaric savages with tattoos, facial piercings, Mohawk haircuts, or any combination thereof if they don’t have all three. The heroes should be tough as nails and have names to match, like Stryker, Hunter, or Slade. I say this, friends, because goddamnit, when it comes to post-apocalyptic action flicks, I really do think the tried-and-true set-ups work best. Maybe for all my pseudo-radical posturing, I really am just a sucker for the old ways at heart. So the supposedly venerable institutions that our society unquestionably relies on to form its rather wobbly backbone are things I’d be perfectly comfortable leaving in the dust. ![]() I feel that the traditionally-defined “family unit” is a hopelessly outmoded construct that’s probably done more harm than good (although what it should, or even could, be replaced with I have no idea). ![]() I think religion should be taxed like any other money-making enterprise. I’d be cool with lowering the voting age to about 12. I favor legalizing gay marriage (not that I mean to compare it with drug use, but bear with me as I attempt to illustrate a point here). I support decriminalizing all drugs, including heroin and crack. I’ve never considered myself much of a traditionalist. CLICK THE POSTER TO BUY THIS GOOD SHIT FROM AMAZON ![]()
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